You ARE Worth It!

You ARE Worth It!

Credit where credit is due – You ARE worth it!

I was talking to a friend this week and she spoke about a coat she had admired for a long time. She had tried it on multiple times but had never made the purchase because it was expensive and she felt she didn't deserve it.  So for her it wasn't about the price or not liking it enough but about not being good enough in some way. 

 
Then when I came home, as my husband returned from walking the dog, he started talking about his jacket (it’s been a coat themed weekend for me!) and how the pockets were coming away. He said that if he gets a good result in his recent professional exams that he will “treat” himself to a new jacket. 
 
It got me to thinking, what is it that makes us have to justify buying things for ourselves in this way? Somehow we feel that we don’t deserve something new, or that purchasing an essential item has to be conditional on certain criteria.  
 
I wonder how many of us have had thoughts like this about a personal purchase? I imagine it’s a common theme for many of us. I know in my head I feel I have to justify things to myself.  Usually, there are a series of Herculean tasks that I need to complete prior to buying myself something. If I do buy it, like my husband, I describe it as treating myself implying that the act is a little naughty.
 
Interestingly I don't place the same qualification requirements on buying something for my family or friends. I prioritise others with my time too. Everyone else gets their needs met and I only occasionally have time for me. So does that make them more worthy in my head? And where does that leave me? A second class citizen of my own making?
 
Pondering this made me think of a few questions for myself and others:
 
What would we need to do to prove to ourselves that we are worthy?
What is it that makes us judge ourselves in this way? 
Why don't we place the same criteria on others? 
What would have to be different for us to feel worthy?
What will it be like when we do feel worthy?
 
These are big questions and are at the heart of understanding how we value ourselves. If we want other people to value us then surely we must start by valuing ourselves? Now I am not an advocate of indiscriminate consumerism nor am I seeking to encourage everyone to adopt a “man mind thyself” attitude but I do think we need to find the time and space to really notice all the amazing things that we do and give ourselves credit where credit is due. 
 
So, I am going to make a pact with myself to notice when I do something kind, helpful or thoughtful for someone else. Not to keep score but to bring to the forefront of my mind how much I do for others and in turn how much I need to do for myself. And regardless of his exam results, my husband is buying himself a new jacket. 
 
No more second class citizens, from here on in its first class! 
After all – we ARE worth it! 
 
Incidentally, the universe decided my friend deserved her coat - it turned up at the weekend in the window of a charity shop. It was her size and now it is hers!  Some things are meant to be!
 
Fiona x