So You've Been Publicly Shamed
24th July 2015
You might know that Jon Ronson is one of my favourite authors. I became a big fan when I read his book 'The Psychopath Test'. A brilliantly written, extremely witty journey throught the process of identifying characteristics of the Psychopath.
I recognise Jon Ronson as a great journalist - he explores the subject matter and has the fabulous ability of allowing the protagonist the space to be who they are. He reports the facts without the need to judge.
His latest book 'So You've Been Publicly Shamed.' Is a brilliant insight into the power that social media gives people to publicly condem the actions of another. Jon Ronson handles this topic with care and shows how the phenomena of public shaming can occur surprisingly quickly. He meets with people who's lives have been altered, dramatically, by these social media led frenzies.
I am really interested in personal resilience and so this book had me hooked from the first page.
Often we see public figures vilified in the press. Politicians exposed for expenses scandals and more. I've often wondered what that must be like, to have what you do judged by people who don't know anything about you.
This book gives a brilliant insight to that and Poor judgement is the theme that reverberates within the book.
Case study after case study is used by Jon and the recurring theme within each is one of poor judgement. Poor judgement of the decisions people are making like for instance a writer who admitted to misattributing some of the quotes of Bob Dylan and those who took to social media make their own personal thoughts known about the matter. The effect of this was that the writer lost his job.
Through the work that we do here at Simply Changing, we get to work with people who want to make changes. We explore their strengths and resourcefulness. As we journey in this way with amazing people we realise together that building a strong and compelling life means forgiving ourselves, recognising, valuing and mobilising our skills. We focus on the learning that can be derived from the things we have done in the past and the things that have happened to us. No matter what the situation or the outcome something can always be learned and brought into our own sense of self. Our experiences add to our wisdom.
So, it is with this perspective that i read the stories of public humiliation. I believe that we should preserve the essence of what it is to be human. We humans are fascinating and intriguing. We are strong and resourceful and we experience times when we are vulnerable. Whether we are struck down with a virus, or we stub our toe on the bed post and feel the pain. Whether we find our partner has had an affair, or we are made redundant. There are situations where our strength and our courage and our innate resilience has the opportunity to show itself and to triumph.
I am reminded, as I read the book, of the NLP principle - that we separate out the behaviours from the individual. So in the case of a young carer who tweeted a photograph of herself in a disrispectful pose in a military cemetary, this was a stupid and ill informed action that did not reflect who she was. We hear that she was a skilled carer full of energy and able to build really strong rapport with those she cared for.
Another instance was when a young marketing professional with very few followers on twitter tweeted a reference to Africa, aids and being white. A very stupid comment which was a reflection of her bad judgement.
We've all made mistakes in the past and we've all done things that with the benefit of hindsight we would have done differently, done better, or not done at all from our fashion faux pas to our choice of job or choice of partner to putting our size 10's in it when we say something inappropriate and wish the ground would swallow us up. Luckily we have not been publicly shamed for these things or vilified on social media.
When was the last time that you put the worlds to rights? Imagine if our friends and family were recording this and putting it out on YouTube or Twitter!
We are part of a new generation where social media and worldwide connectiviity is powerful and compelling. We are now learning about how people use social media and how people respond to each other. The people that Jon Ronson talks about in his book have made mistakes, paid the price and are now part of our learning.
I can recommend his book, well of course I would say that wouldn't I!! I would suggest that when you read it, you take some time to think about how, as human beings, we can allow a person to make a mistake and give them the space to learn and grow from that mistake, rather than close them down, humiliate them and destroy their lives, families and their futures.
I truly believe that we have the opportunity to evolve as a human race. I believe we can learn how to take responsibility and support others to do the same. My personal values are that we should create the conditions whereby we have the space to recognise our resourcefulness and put that to good use. Thanks Jon Ronson, yet another thought provoking and wonderfully written book.
Louise x
