Managing emotions with Coaching and NLP

 

 

In Coaching with NLP we are trained to notice shifts and changes in our coachee's that might indicate a shift in responses either at a deep structure level or a surface structure level.  As a practitioner, I ensure that I live my life in the same way.  I am responsible for my thoughts and feelings and therefore my responses to situations.  In NLP we say this is being at cause.

 

This weekend, I had to go shopping for some new lamps and shades.  I arrived at the shopping centre to see that it was extremely busy indeed.  There were cars and people everywhere.  

 

I managed to park quite quickly and was rather pleased that I wasn't too far away from the shop entrance - lamps are big and bulk with lots of packaging usually, so that was great!

 

I knew exactly where I wanted to go, to the lighting department which is placed at the back of the store, and headed of there at quite a pace.  I noticed that I was looking for the gaps between people to skip through and get to the back of the store quickly.  Everyone else seemed slow and to be honest, it felt as though they were all getting in my way.  They seemed to be in their own world and oblivious to others.  

 

I moved quickly, however there were casualties.  I knocked a ladies shoulder bag.  I miscalculated a gap and brushed a man's arm and almost immediately I found a child right in my path.  I did that halt, eek, stretch over the top of the child manouvre, to arrest the velocity at which I was careering around the store.  I was like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.  In my head the strains of 'I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date, no time to say goodbye, hello, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.'  Whilst metaphorically holding my watch out infront of me.  

 

I was awoken from this altered state when I heard myself say 'I'm so sorry' for a fourth time.  Even to my rushed ears, this resonated and was heard.  

 

I'm good at taking responsibility and that's exactly what I did.  As I moved through the store, I shifted my focus away from my own hurried needs and allowed myself to notice the energy and pace of my fellow shoppers.  It was quite different. I was like a formula 1 driver suddenly finding themselves on the M25 at rush hour getting irritated with fellow drivers because of the slow progress.   

 

I believe in choices and I believe that choic enhances our lives.  I therefore chose to take a moment and looked at the energy in the store and how people were moving.  I noticed that all were moving at half the speed of myself and that the collisions were as a result of this difference.  I then chose to do something about it.  I slowed, began to take more notice of the departments I was moving through.  I became focused on the journey, not just the destination.  

 

As I made that shift.  I noticed that I relaxed.  No longer the white rabbit, more the cadbury's caramel rabbit!!

 

 

I probably got to the lighting department a couple of moments later than I would have, yet I'd altered my whole energy, outlook, relationship with fellow shoppers (no more collisions).

 

The reward came a little later.  I wanted two light fittings and they said they had only one.  I had an odd feeling that there were two in store and so I asked again when I got to the payment desk.  The lady confirmed this was the only light fitting.  I graciously accepted this and thought, hmmmm, rather than rushing out of the store, I'll just take a meander around the dining tables department.  I did this and enjoyed myself too.  It took me a few minutes more to get to the exit onto the car park and I noticed a young lady waving at me 'Excuse me' she said 'where you looking for this light fitting?' I heard you ask and just knew that we had more in stock, would you like this one too?'  

 

A moment or two earlier and I would have left the store already, missing this opportunity!  Weighing up my options and making good choices about the right pace to be in step with everyone actually created opportunity! Result!!

 

'tis a true story!!

 

Louise x