Learning how to Forgive!

Learning how to Forgive!

Bishop Samuel Kayinamura with Heather Thomas of the Goboka Rwanda Trust

Photo - Bishop Samuel Kayinamura and Heather Thomas of the Goboka Rwanda Trust

By way of an explanation for this blog - early in 2013, I will return to Rwanda!  The purpose of my return visit is to understand more about the healing and reconciliation process so that I can share my understanding and enable more people to live their lives freely and with peace of mind.  This is the reason for my return.
There are certain people you meet in life who have such authenticity that they make a deep impression.  Bishop Samuel Kayinamura (Bishop of the Free Methodist Church in Rwanda) is such a person. On a two week visit to Rwanda with the Goboka Rwanda Trust https://sites.google.com/site/gobokarwandatrust/ I was part of a group who visited communities, schools and projects and Bishop Samuel accompanied us on many of these visits.  

When you meet Bishop Samuel you meet a man with a great sense of fun.  Always with a smile on his face and always warm and welcoming.  His integrity is tangible as is his passion for his country, Rwanda.  

One of the most touching moments in our visit to Rwanda was when we were privileged enough to visit Bishop Samuel’s village Butembo, in the West of Rwanda.  To the visitor, Butembo is heaven on earth and yet in Bishop Samuel’s lifetime Butembo became hell on earth.

The Genocide of Rwanda took place in 1994 and in 100 days a million people were killed.  Among those killed were Bishop Samuel’s family and the family of his wife Rachel.

Our visit to Butembo was to participate in a ceremony to give 6 cows to a local project.  Five of the cows had been donated by the Goboka Rwanda Trust and the 6th cow was donated by the Wilson family, Brenda, Gary and Neil from the West Midlands.  The ceremony marked the official beginning of a project to encourage perpetrators and survivors of the genocide to work together for a joint benefit.

Photo of Susannah giving her harrowing testimony of being struck down and left for dead

The ceremony was great fun with lots of singing and dancing and laughter.  During the ceremony we also heard testimonies from survivors of the genocide and also, the perpetrators. We heard from Susannah, a survivor and as her voice faltered in her testimony something in the air changed.  From a fun, vibrant celebration, a hushed silence pervaded.  Through our wonderful translator Ephaste , we heard that Susannah had been cut down by a machete and fell amongst the dead of Butembo.  Hours later she became conscious and managed to hide and somehow survive.  She was pregnant at the time of the genocide and in a moving tribute to his mother, the son who was born soon after she was left for dead, comforted her as she gave her testimony.  

Fabulous Dancers at the ceremony in Butembo

Throughout the ceremony Samuel joined in the fun, listened intently to the testimonies.  He chatted with friends and dignitaries and then sometimes he was deeply reflective.  There was no way of imagining what his thoughts were and what memories he was recalling.  

As the ceremony continued, we heard testimony from two perpetrators of the genocide.  Before we heard the translation from Ephaste it was clear that their story was very different to Susannah’s.  We were told that these men who stood before this large gathering and who lived in this village had killed many people including Bishop Samuel’s family.  They had also taken all the property and live stock from his family.

As I listened, I looked to Bishop Samuel.  He raised his head in a gesture which indicated that his forgiveness of these men required huge personal and emotional strength.  This is what I will be exploring with him on my return.  My quest is to understand what lies at the core of forgiveness, what does it take to ‘forgive’ and how is that forgiveness maintained.

I believe that I understand during my visit that forgiveness is necessary for individuals to heal.  Forgiveness is a choice that is made and it requires human strength to achieve and to maintain.  

Bishops Samuel is a man of God, he is truly a man of the people.  He has a vision for peace, healing and reconciliation for his country.  

I have been invited to document Bishop Samuel’s story, including his miraculous survival and his process of personal forgiveness.  On my return to Rwanda I will visit Butembo again and begin this process which will also involve speaking with perpetrators and survivors of the genocide.  Our aim is to understand what happens that drives people to murder their neighbours and friends.  I’m interested in how these perpetrators re-integrate into their community and therefore I will hear testimony from the survivors, how they welcome people back into their community, people who have hurt them and killed their loved ones.  We will focus on ‘how’ people heal so that we can share this learning.

Amazing things are happening in Rwanda and I promise to share this with you so that we can all understand our own processes of forgiveness and reconciliation.

I’ll keep you updated with the stories from Rwanda!! Watch this space!!

Louise     

Louise@simplychanging.co.uk
www.simplychanging.co.uk
0333 800 7777